What I Learned from the State of the Union

Of course, I didn't learn much because I lost interest after the first half hour, but I did take a few things away from Obama's first attempt at rallying the nation around his policies and plans.

1. Obama made some good points, but most of the speech was BS and filler. He could've cut out an hour of it. He should hire me to edit his speeches.

2. There is way too much unnecessary applause from the audience, but it's only the President's own party. Just eliminate applause from the State of the Union and save some time.

3. Anecdotes and poor attempts at humor do not belong in important political speeches.

4. America needs to be more like China. Unfortunately, he forgot to mention in what way.

5. It's always important to blame the previous guy in charge for every problem.

6. Beer does not make long political speeches any more interesting.

7. Obama thinks there's too much petty partisan bickering. The only solution to this problem is reintroducing duels among politicians. This will also create job openings in Washington.

8. The Republican rebuttal was even more boring than the State of the Union. I can form my own opinions about the speech without being told what to think by a corrupt politician.