My Chinese Wedding

A few days after Jia and I obtained our Chinese marriage certificate, we celebrated our wedding in Urumqi with family and friends (mostly hers).

Before the celebration, we had a few more things that needed to be prepared. Jia had already booked the hotel--the Yindu Hotel, which was one of the nicest hotels in the city. To save some money, she contacted a friend who worked at another hotel to supply us with soda, wine, and baijiu (he agreed to buy back any unopened bottles). After picking up the drinks, we went in search of firecrackers--we had to set off a long line of them before we entered the hotel for the reception--and purchased a roll of 1500. We also had to purchase cigarettes to be places on each table--I didn't want to buy them, but I was told that guests would be very disappointed if we didn't have them (fortunately, most of Jia's friends were kind enough to smoke outside).

Jia stayed with her aunt and uncle who lived just down the street from our hotel, so it was easy for me to pick her up. Because my Chinese wasn't too good, I didn't have to play all the painful games that grooms must endure on their wedding day. Traditions include refusing to open the door until the groom answers questions and slips hongbao under the door, hiding the bride's shoes, and other obstruction tactics courtesy of the bride and groom's friends. The worst test I had to endure was carrying my bride down four flights of steps to the car (why couldn't they have lived in a building with an elevator?).

The firecrackers were lit as our car arrived at the Yindu Hotel. We stood at the entrance, waiting to greet our guests as they arrived over the course of an hour. We got to see how other people in Urumqi celebrate their wedding as another couple hosted a ceremony next to us. We had a bit of a laugh as we saw the bride in her Western-style white wedding gown next to the groom who wore dress slacks and short-sleeve shirt and tie. I was tempted to offer my services as a stand in with a tuxedo--they could later edit the photo with his head.

Before I arrived in Xinjiang, Jia also hired a photographer and MC for the day. I was a little confused about the MC, but Jia explained that he was just there to host the reception and provide a little humorous fun. To prepare me, she told me what questions the MC would ask so I could prepare my answers. Unfortunately, he spoke too quickly and didn't go in the order I was told--Jia had to translate a lot for me. He asked me questions like "How tall is your bride?" and "What size shoe does she wear?" The MC also came with a local musician from the university--she played a few instruments and was quite impressive.

After being roasted on stage and exchanging rings, dinner was served. Jia and I didn't get to enjoy dinner as we made our rounds and toasted our guests with wine and baijiu. My brother was disappointed as he thought he'd have to drink for me, which is the custom for the best man. After we toasted everyone, my brother made his rounds and tried to toast Jia's friends who became scared by the foreigner who wanted to drink baijiu.

I finally got to shovel some food into my mouth after two dozen drinks. I wish I could've eaten earlier because the food was excellent (or so I was told).

It was still early when the celebration ended. We decided to continue the party elsewhere after changing at the hotel. We rented a huge room at the local KTV--it had a projection screen and foosball table. We enjoyed more drinks and a buffet for a few more hours with about half the guests.

A Wedding Story

Jia returned from her business trip to China, and it was just in time as we celebrate our anniversary in a couple days (the Chinese wedding anniversary). And I realized I never wrote anything about our weddings (Chinese or American--yeah, we had two).

The summer before I started working at the graduate school, Jia and I planned our wedding--actually, she did most of the planning as I had no idea what needed to be done in China, nor could I communicate effectively in Chinese to know how to plan a wedding. All I had to do was set a date for my family to fly to China and pay for the whole celebration. The date was one of three lucky dates my mother-in-law obtained from a monk at a Buddhist temple.

A month prior, I had to visit the U.S. consulate in Guangzhou to obtain a notarized document stating that I was not currently married to anyone else, which then had to be translated and notarized in Shenzhen by a disgruntled government employee who questioned why he should notarize such a document even though we were paying for the service. After pleading with the notary for almost an hour, he agree to stamp the document so we would stop bothering him.

I met my parents and brother in Beijing and we flew out to Urumqi, as Jia's hometown is a two-hour bus ride from there. Before we could have our wedding reception, we had to visit the government office to obtain our marriage license. We only had four days between the license and the reception, unlike Jia's friends who waited almost a year for their reception. While my family was treated to an extended foot massage, Jia and I took a bicycle taxi across town with her friend (it was her job to take photos).

The government office was not what I expected. The first room had a lot of wedding decorations for sale--this was where we got our forms to fill out and our photos to be included in the marriage license. We then entered a larger room to wait our turn. We were the only couple getting married. The room was split in half by a banister. Jia explained that our side, which had rows of chairs in pairs, was for weddings, and the other side, which had a line or chairs around the perimeter was for divorces. I think the setup would be a great idea in Vegas.

When we were finally called to the desk for our marriage license, the clerk reviewed our documents to ensure everything was in order. She then insisted that we read a statement that claims we are not related--I thought it was funny, but the clerk insisted that I read the Chinese, which Jia had to help with as I only recognized every third character. A simple statement that should have taken two minutes took ten. The clerk disappeared for a few minutes to prepare our marriage license. When she returned, she proclaimed us husband and wife (or so I assumed considering my limited Chinese abilities). The first thing I did was look at our marriage license, which is written in Chinese and Uyghur. The clerk looked amused as Jia and I posed for photos with our marriage license in front of a large government emblem.

That night we celebrated with a banquet with Jia's relatives and friends--it was partly to make up for those who couldn't travel to Urumqi for the reception. We finished off the evening with a night out at Clone City--a large club featuring plenty of shanzhai (counterfeit) alcohol. Jia's friend had a ticket for a free bottle, and I was excited when it arrived at our table as it looked like Jack Daniel's. However, it turned out to be Jack Conte and it smelled like baijiu (my brother and I didn't drink it). They did have real alcohol, which was sold next to the shanzhai bottles (the price difference was a few hundred Yuan for the real thing and 10 Yuan for fakes). We decided to settle for Tsingtao.

Stuffed

I finally recovered from my birthday food coma.

Friday, my wonderful wife cooked dinner for my friend, brother, and me before we went out to celebrate in Jersey City. We were all shocked when we saw the table completely full of food. She made 麻辣牛肉 (mala niurou), cumin lamb, Xinjiang beef stew, fish flavored eggplant, corn with pine nuts and peppers, and spring rolls (okay, those were frozen from the Asian market, but she still had to fry them). And she also made the traditional Chinese birthday noodle soup with a hard-boiled egg. We didn't come close to finishing the dinner--we got through about half the meal. And we never managed to get to dessert.

If my birthday dinner at home wasn't enough, my parents took me out Saturday. We went to Komegashi for sushi. It's a great Japanese restaurant on the waterfront with a nice view of New York City. We filled up on a few small appetizers of wasabi duck, gyoza (fried dumplings), and a few others. Then I went for the sashimi dinner, which has some pretty thick slices of fish. I don't think I've ever felt so full from sashimi in my life.

Now I get to prepare myself for Thanksgiving. I will enjoy my first Thanksgiving turkey in four years. I'm sure it'll be much better than roast duck from Carrefour in Shenzhen.

Chinese Non-Xmas

Yesterday was the university Christmas party. We started off with a great lunch at a very nice restaurant nearby. It was really nice to meet some of the faculty at one of the other graduate schools in the area. I did find it amusing that out of the three foreigners in attendance at lunch, none of us celebrates Christmas. We enjoyed the lunch and conversation anyway. One of the dishes had a huge carrot sculpted into an old fisherman--my co-worker wanted to take it home, but the restaurant wouldn't allow it.

Later, there was a small party in the lobby of the administration building. My co-worker didn't attend, so I was the lone "white" foreigner. Almost everyone in attendance was Chinese. The only others were the six Pakistani students. Again, there was no one who actually celebrates Christmas. I had a great time talking to the Pakistanis about their recent move to China and their work. They were really nice and happy to find someone with whom they could speak English. They also told me how disappointed they were that the library has very few English texts for them because their Chinese isn't good enough to use what the other students read.

For those of you wondering about Christmas in China, I would like to say that America has nothing on China when it comes to commercializing a holiday. All the shops are open longer on Christmas Day for the people to spend their hard-earned Renminbi. There is no religion attached to Christmas here--it is celebrated by the middle and upper classes as an international holiday. Most people here have no idea that it's one of the most important religious days (which explains why most schools make foreign teachers work today).

Well, Merry Christmas to my Christian friends out there.

Spring Festival Redux

Lighted ribbons on a wishing tree.


















Giant firecrackers at the community gate.














The lanterns in front of the restaurants; all closed for the celebration.

A local grandfather assisting a child in setting off some fireworks.